I’ll be honest. I think I burned out.
It feels like failure to say that because of ALL the messages we preach (believe) to clients, each other, and ourselves about the importance of self care. And the truth is, I did take care of myself (kinda) and after working in the trenches for so many years, doing meaningful work with people I loved and respected and learned from, I just was….done.
My body, my psyche, my spirit, my nervous system all were sending me signals that it was time to shift out of my career as a psychotherapist. During the last year of my work, I started to turn my eyes to coaching + consulting.
For years, I had a side hustle consulting for schools and nonprofits around town doing a variety of trainings and workshops. And I loved that work. I felt a strong pull and a vision started to form, rich with possibility. I felt excited. An evolutionary shift; the rumblings beginning...
But there was a problem.
Leaving the counseling profession to become a coach felt like a betrayal: to the field, to my friends, to my clients, to my identity. I could never….
Coaches are hacks. The industry is unregulated. No training required. They have poor boundaries and often dive into dangerous territory with clients. You get the picture of the judgements I had about coaching.
Yet, I wanted to do it.
So I started by dipping my toes into conversations with members of my therapist community and was met with a variety of reactions as you might well imagine.
I started by telling some of my closest therapist friends what I was thinking and it went something like this:
ME: I have to tell you something but I can’t look you in the eye when I say it.
THEM: Okay.
ME: I am thinking of becoming a coach. (I only used the word coach - God forbid I said “LIfe Coach - I’d probably burst into flames - plus I wasn’t sure what type of coaching I wanted to do.)
THEM (various reactions listed below):
(Laughter) Wait, are you serious? Oh, yea, I think you’d be great at that.
Oh, I see. Well, coaches make a lot of money, don’t have liability, and don’t work as hard as we do, so yea, you should do that (sarcastic tone implied).
NO! What? You’d still do therapy though right?
Wouldn’t you miss being a therapist? How could you not be a therapist?
(Without making eye-contact with me either) then whispers quietly “I wanna do that too, but don’t tell anyone”.
As I warmed up to the idea myself, I started to look at my friends and colleagues in the eyes when I said it. And I started to challenge my own judgements. And they more I let those judgements go, the more support I received from my people.
And I get it. Coaching IS unregulated, there ARE some dangerous people out there, coaches are NOT bound by the same limitations as we are (not giving advice, working with insurance companies etc..).AND… there are people who are not healthy and shouldn’t be coaches or therapists, or dentists, or lawyers or teachers... but the truth is, I am not that person or that coach.
I am an ethical person and professional.
I am clinically trained.
I have a lot of knowledge and experience coupled with a huge desire to support organizations who value a culture where leaders and teams can show up as their ‘whole self’ at work in order to innovate and create together.
I want to work collaboratively with other (outside of a therapy office) and not in isolation.
.Not everyone needs therapy, (although everyone could benefit from it :) and if they do, then who better to identify that need and provide a referral to someone in my amazing network?
I love connecting with women in leadership who are courageous and ready to expand and stretch and grow.
So I did it. I took the risk. And as I still mourn the loss of an identity and am re-orienting to a new one. I live in gratitude for all that being a clinician has taught and the ways it has shaped me. And now I move into different work. With different opportunities to serve and support others.
My take-a-ways (for now, more lessons to come, I am sure):
In my heart, I am a therapist til I die.
And I am other things too.
And when we take the risk to be present to evolving, and embrace it even, magic happens.
If you know someone who you think would benefit from having a clinically trained coach in their corner, because they want to go deeper to become an embodied, point them in my direction.